Once again I find myself in chaos
Mind-tripping, world-twisting into a distorted funhouse
All are smiling and all I want is to go home
I found myself once more giving up
and saying I want to go home
To say that God is real and watching
would be an understatement
Although He permits "bad" things to happen
They are for the most, good
My heart was wretching and I reached out
Was LED... to a book
Within it a message was delivered
Loud and clear
One day I will go home but not now
The time is not right
There will be better times
I will not give up
Why does it seem like I can never win?
And when I win, I actually lose
To place blame for my troubles and dysfunctions upon another
would be to lie to myself
I am the reason.
Differences in opinions would conclude to be the same
I'm too light, too dark, too tall, too short
Too smart, too slow, too determined with no real place to go
I have expectations, too high for some
I have feelings, I am the only one
Whom trouble follows and to which clings despair
I'm not black enough and don't have coarse hair
For me to fit in, would be to let go
Of everything I am, everything I know.
I allow myself to fall to others whims
And be the blunt end of sometimes painful jokes
All to be accepted, this is part of the human nature hoax
To be thought of as nothing is my stereotyped destiny
Although my future was always thought to be bright...
At least by me
I aim to please but that's not enough
I try to conform but it still is rough
It doesn't work either way I see
To be accepted fully, I have to not be me